The Tragic Kingdom

Senses

2006-06-19T02:31:00.000+08:00

When I gave my love to you,
Did you know it'll always be yours
Even as far away, you are
It could never be a loss

I think of you and sigh
Did you know you've never left me
On a dreary day alone
You are everything I see

Darling, how sad you seem
In the falling of the rain
It's your tears I dream
Or is it your pain

Your voice is all the wind
Whispering away a memory
of all that could've been
Blowing out to the sea

Baby, are you cold
As the night time comes once more
Like the promises I told
of forever like before

If only the sparkling air
Could fill my emptiness
As I breathe, you're there
In the light and also darkness

When I gave my heart to you
Did you know it's always there
Even as far away, you are
You'll always be everywhere.

Oh darling, there you are,
Always in my senses,
And you're never far.

Fairytale Ending

2006-06-19T00:55:00.000+08:00

do you wanna fly someplace far away with me
'cross the purple sky over land and bay and sea
we'll soar upon our lofty dreams
on winds to where the starlight gleams
adrift on which ideals were made
where joy is just a serenade
and hearts like sparrows flutter free
bewitched in happy reverie

do you wanna dance, holding hands just you and I
in a world entranced, our second chance, to try
we'll glide on trails by moonlight's wake
dancing by a shimmering lake
we'll sway on nighttime's wonderland
to where the waters meet the sand
and slowly, softly kiss as one
in the magic of the morning sun.

let go your hatred and your hurt
thaw your soul from winter's desert

and come and fly with me
over land and bay and sea
I know your heart is keen to soar
you have to trust in it once more

just a little step,
give a little try,
and then, again, you'll fly.

Emotional Baggage

2006-06-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

When I look upon your pretty face,
I wonder who it is I see,
I sense your beauty and your grace,
Your heartfelt love in lingering gaze,
But all I see in you is me.

I see scars that can never heal,
in the softness of your touch,
I taste old wounds that are hurting still
Even as gentle as your feel,
I can only feel so much.

In your laughter, in your voice,
All good things that never last,
Oh it's you, in you I rejoice,
Tho' try as I might I haven't a choice,
fighting the doubts of my past.

I never knew the person you are
All the while I was only a ghost
How near you were, but still so far
How you made sense, yet how bizarre,
I am haunted by my memories the most.

And I am sorry I hurt you
So sorry it's come to this
You know I never meant to
Let between us my past remiss

But I loved you, you knew that
That I could not conceal
Even with the little that I had
I did love you still.

But I couldn't go on, you see,
Until I learned to love me.

Xanadu

2006-06-18T23:52:00.000+08:00

Softly, silently
Slow your steps
Perhaps
You wonder if it's true
there is Xanadu

Surely, surely
It exists
Amidst
the silhouettes of you
here in Xanadu

I've searched a universe of dreams
Lived the same life over and over
All the tears,
the prayers,
and screams
I can't take the pain
I can't, anymore
I'm going insane
Drink myself to the floor
I just want my piece of wherever...

Simply a place
for me,
To be
Always with you.

So, please don't say
It isn't true
Could you
Let me dream of us
Of love and happiness
someday
my Xanadu.

A place for me,
To be
Always with you.

Closure

2006-06-18T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking of a thought
That I have not pondered in a while
Of when I was on a boat
When I was but a child
I think of the sea and of the cold
And of how I shivered and I shook
And all the stories my father told
Teaching me to bait a hook

And I think
How happy I was

I'm dreaming of a dream
That seemed to be from long ago
How I soared to the heavens
Like a cloud over earth below
I could fly among the stars
I am the darkness, and the light
I dream I was forever
Night to day and then again, to night

And I dream
How happy I was

But in all my thoughts and dreams
In all that is and seems
There are no words like before
To tell you simply
that you broke my heart
And I wish I was happy once more.

The Girl Who Stared

2006-06-18T23:49:00.000+08:00

I met a girl at a pub that night
And she couldn't keep her eyes off me
Over the counter, she stared and stared
She was a waitress there, you see

I thought at first, "Was it a thing -
Stuck to me like a daub of tissue?"
But t'was not that that lingered her gaze,
For I was the leaf, and she the dew.

So I gulped my beer, and stilled my heart
And stared right back at her misty eyes
Across the crowd, a sea of chances
"What were my choices?" I thought, "Otherwise?"

Then I fancied myself like the girl Sayuri,
Who could stop a person with only a look
Not to say it was my painted face,
I just meant that..did you read the book?!

And on and on, we flirted, we mused
Painting dreams on the canvas of our stares
But love never begins without some adventure
So I walked up to her and said "Hi there!"

Oh, she was startled, and then she was pleased
And wore the sweetest smile I never saw before
I said "Do you speak English?" She said "No!"
And there and then, she stared at me no more.

I was bewildered, and for a lifetime I stood
Then walked forlornly back to my chair
Ah well, t'is best to have tried and lost
And to remember, fondly, the magic of her stare.

Face to Face

2006-06-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

Step by step,
Is there really any other way?
Just me and you,
Little steps,
leaving footprints far behind

Hand in hand,
don't let go, okay?
I won't, you know that
Just me and you, all the way
Day by day,
There isn't any other choice,

From rain to sun, warm to cold,
Finding joy in the little things,
Little ways to show we care,
Forgetting what tomorrow brings,
Just being patient, being there,
How else do we take our love?

But what I really meant to say,
I wish I could say
Face to face,
I really won't rather be anywhere else
but face to face,
How can i ever want anything else,
but to be with you, baby,
Face to face.

What I wanted to say, baby,
Thank you for loving me.

I love you.

One usual day

2006-06-09T21:01:00.000+08:00

One usual day,
Without a thing
out of the ordinary,
Love found me.
It was extraordinary!
How things were gray,
No, not anymore.
I wasn't sad, or down,
Just feeling as before.
Now there's magic,
so wonderful, wonderful!
There's a lightness,
in my step, in my heart,
Everything's so beautiful,
And I am so thankful.
Coz I never knew
Happiness looked for me.
Oh baby, you found me.
And you love me.
I can hardly comprehend,
I can't understand,
What did I ever do
to deserve this love?
Now we have each other.
Nothing really matters.
As long as we're together.
Building a dream,
Making it true,
How I liked you,
For the person you are
Now I love you,
For what you mean to me,

It's so extraordinary baby.
In our ordinary lives.
That we found each other.
Right before our eyes.

You have to believe
There's always a way,
Coz' love found us,
One usual day.

Regrets

2006-06-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

My worst fears come true
I was so into you
You were everything, baby,
My life, my dream,
Now you've gone away,
There's nothing to say,
Like the pitter-patter of rain,
My heart is in pieces
Pieces of you and me, I mean

Will you forgive me baby,
You know not what you meant to me
You'll never come back, I know,
But know that I miss you so,
The day you walked away.

I guess my heart beats still,
It hurts just breathing, and will
Someday be no more,
Tho' you know I don't cry,
I can't help but try
To remember what we had in between
Now just shadow puppets,
Making believe of what could've been

Please forgive me baby,
You know not what you did for me
You'll never return, I know,
But know that I love you so,
The day you walked away.

You know not what you are to me
You are my dream come true
Baby, I'm so into you.

*original pixie drawing by Cynical Idealistic Eyes

Kismet

2006-06-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

Blue skies in the morning
Give wings to my heart
Oh, let fly my yearning
For my love o’er the seas

Hand in hand at mid-day
Cocktails by the beach
Oh, to be, I pray
With my love o’er the seas

Red skies of the sunset,
And the land below the wind,
Of daydreams and kismet,
And my love o’er the seas

*incomplete

Soul Mates

2006-06-09T19:49:00.000+08:00

Shall I recount my sins
to you,
Baby, how did you know
even before it begins?

Can I ask of you,
reassurance,
Baby, how you comfort me
before I even knew.

Where were you, baby?
All my life I searched
of the flesh, of the spirit,
Of kindred souls merged

Shall I tell you how much
I miss you,
Baby, I somehow knew
you were already touched.

Can you see my smile,
you made me,
Oh, Baby, through your tears,
I didn't know, all this while

I'm sorry, Baby,
We didn't meet earlier,
And pursue a past existence
Of us as lovers, together.

Alas, we are chained to fate!
My soul cries in agony.
How could this be?
Can't you see?
You were meant for me.
Now doomed to be separate...

Siiigh.

We're a part of each other,
My one and only soul mate.
And there'll never be another.

Coz, Baby, you're my soul mate.
And you already knew
That I love you.

I Miss You

2006-06-09T19:44:00.000+08:00

Dreamy, formless clouds
Beneath the azure skies,
Gentle winds whisper
Their collective sighs.

Time plods on, never stop,
People and places pass by
Unrelenting, without me
Who time and space deny.

Am I not part of this,
This - life and I,
Like a dimensional stranger
Like the constellation Gemini,

Am I awake, I think
Or seeing in my mind's eye,
Or in my dream I am awake,
Yet what do they imply:

That I miss you?
I do. I miss you,
And I wonder why.
I miss you, baby.

The Face in the Mirror

2006-06-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

Displaying deceving bliss where only gloom exists,
Whose eyes are these?
Surely not mine.

Of happy remiss, yet despair persists,
Whose smile is this?
A veiled design.

Fears that seem irrational,
Poetry that is unintentional,
No purpose discernible,
Nor answers sensible,
No clue, nor guide,
No beliefs, nor pride,
Neither here nor there,
Neither just, nor unfair,
Nothing accomplished but time,
And words that fucking rhyme.

This is me
Can't you see?

Disjointed paradigms and twisted moods,
Somehow my expression eludes,
When I look into the mirror,
Whose face is this -
Of uncluttered bliss?
I often ask...

Surely not mine.
It is only a mask.

Can't you see,
It isn't me.

Fade to Black

2006-06-09T19:25:00.000+08:00

Fall to ground,
Falling leaf,
Make no sound,
Make belief.

Life goes on,
Day to night,
Leaf to ground,
Reunite.

At the end,
wearily,
Come to rest,
Falling leaf.

On the ground,
All around,
Fade to black,
Don't look back.

The Lonely Blogger

2006-06-09T19:22:00.000+08:00

When the world is softly silent,
When all is still,
And dreams of dreams before,
Quietly, I tiptoe,
By the dim kitchen light
Bare feet upon the icy floor.

And then I think, in my nighttime reverie
How the world is sleeping, not a soul awake, but me.

A cup of coffee by the keyboard,
Thoughts in my mind,
And the screen a ghostly face I face,
A comforting sadness,
How strangely serene,
To be, yet not be, in this place.

And then I muse, a jumbled potpourri
Of a desperate feeling, that there’s no one else, but me.

No one else, but me
Quietly I breathe
How silent is the night tonight
Then letter by letter,
Key by key,
Pieces of me carved into every word that I write.

And I’d like to imagine, in all of eternity,
That somewhere out there, someone reads what I write,
Someone else, but me.

The Unseen Door

2006-06-09T19:14:00.000+08:00

You see me sleeping but I’m wide awake
You see me before you but we’re a world apart.
You reach out to feel,
Warmth against the cold,
All the conflict within,
All the stories untold,
Of how a love decayed, right from the start.

Yes I am a ghost, a play of shadows,
The soul from my flesh ripped and tore
In my solace I seek,
In my anguish I ask,
Strength to understand
Courage to unmask,
The pretender to a love that is no more.

The pretender, I am.
The love, but a sham.

Of the flesh, of what remained
But…am I not alive?
Do I not feel?
Even if all I feel is pain.
Over a love that is no more.
Through the unseen door,
...never again, I swore.

Dawn to Dusk Haiku

2006-06-09T19:07:00.000+08:00

Heaven awakens
Light spills into the shadows
I hit "snooze" once more

Like a ship, it forms
Sailing dream-like in the sky
The clouds or my mind?

The light slowly fades
With it, pieces of my soul
An evening wind blows

The glory unveiled
A question after the show
Who? And why..am I?

Yesterday..today..
Tomorrow will come and go
'Till there is no more.

Mid-day Reverie

2006-06-09T18:45:00.000+08:00

Like the speckles of dust in sunlight,
So the dust of time drifts by,
Like a quiet dream, Like a placid stream,
Watching the world go by,
Recollecting my thoughts with a sigh,
The pieces of a crazy jigsaw puzzle,
How wonderfully mysterious they imply,
The pieces of my life, I mean.

Existence

2006-06-09T18:41:00.000+08:00

Swirling on from endlessness,
To endlessness by and by,
No time nor reason, nor purpose,
Only echoes of my thoughts - why.